THE NEW STAR WARS 7 TRAILER!!!!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!! THEY MADE A TRAILER TRAILER INSTEAD OF A TEASER AND I AM SO HYPED RIGHT NOW THE HYPE IS KILLING ME NO I AM THE HYPE AAAAHHHH
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Sorry, this trailer is the best official trailer I have ever seen, and I can't wait to see this awesome movie. This trailer still tries to keep it vague with its dialogue but you can still get an idea of what the movie is about. Tickets are now available by the way.

Alright, let's analyze this trailer.

This trailer opens with Rey in a strange mask. And I know it's her because I have the LEGO set for her speeder. The question is, why is she wearing it? Was she some sort of bounty hunter? Nah...

Next, she's trying to get through some dark, big metal junk. I wanted to analyze this whole trailer myself and not rely on other analysis videos, but I happened to be watching one briefly because I thought it was something else. According to that video, she's trying to get through a crashed Super Star Destroyer. Is she salvaging parts?

"Who are you?"
"I'm no one."
Looks like Rey's got some low self-esteem... She's worse off than Luke on the Tatooine farm! Speaking of Tatooine, Rey seems to be living on the desert planet of Jakku. And BB-8 is her droid.

"I was raised to do one thing... but I've got nothing to fight for."
Finn? What do you mean? What is this one thing? Fight for the First Order? I'm not sure on that one. Also, how did your Special Forces TIE Fighter just explode like that? Did the First Order shoot you down after your betrayal? Also, Jakku from the atmosphere.

"Nothing will stand in our way... I will finish... what you started."
So Kylo Ren wants to finish up destroying the Jedi for Darth Vader? Huh. So THAT's why this First Order thing exists and has so much similarity to the Empire. Also, who has Vader's helmet? That doesn't look like Resistance headquarters.

Kylo Ren! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO POE???? Are you force-choking him?! Are you trying to read his mind? It's something that's angering him, that's for sure.

Whoa whoa whoa... Is that new Death Star-ish thingy on the poster destroying a planet?

"Those stories about what happened..."
"It's true... all of it. The dark side... the Jedi... they're real."
I guess 30 years is enough time for the Jedi to become just a big legend. Does this mean, along with him not being on the poster, that Luke at some point went into exile instead of starting a new legion of Jedi? WHAT???

Also, that hologram. What are you doing with it? There are planets on it, so I'm guessing you're looking for a planet to travel to.

HYPERSPACE!!!! I guess they're going from Jakku to that... forest planet.

Those Stormtroopers are in metal ruins. Did they destroy the Resistance base on the forest planet?

What is that place that Finn, Han Solo and BB-8 are walking into? Looks very decorated, looks very old. Also, where have I seen that strange-looking droid before? Oh yeah, it was a Separatist security droid from the Clone Wars movie! What is it doing here?

What is Rey dunking her head in? And why is she sad? Uh... did somebody die?

Why are Han, Chewie and Finn getting their heads out of their shoulders? Were they taken prisoner briefly?

Apparently, BB-8 becomes Poe's droid... Well, I already knew that, with the LEGO set Poe's X-Wing Fighter. But why?

Rey uses a gun?

FINN IS A JEDI, AND FIGHTS KYLO REN?????????????? I already knew about the Jedi part from the posters. Well, good luck with the duel. Kylo Ren seems to be a bit too worthy for an opponent.

"The Force... It's calling to you......................... just let it in."
Wait a minute... I didn't know midichlorians could enter a life-form by "calling to you" and you "just letting it in"!

Well, this movie is gonna be awesome. I hope nobody gets their hopes way too high, as with Phantom Menace as the majority hates this movie. It's kinda like Nintendo's E3 2015 conference. Everyone got their hopes up. Well, see you next post!


...whenever that is.